Two Months Of Being A Mother Of Three...
I see you Mama and something about you has changed. I don’t think I have ever seen you more beautiful. You may have forgotten this amongst the throes of motherhood, and find it hard to see it through the blur of these early days, but I see you. You’ve always carried yourself well, but now you seem more womanly, stronger, yet beautifully vulnerable. You may be feeling lonely at times, or tired of being at home, but you truly look beautiful here, like all of a sudden home has a new meaning. You are someone’s home. Jess Urlichs
I love love this quote from Jess, it makes all the hard work feel worth it. It is hard to see the light when everything feels so hard and dark. I get it. Up until recently, I was finding transitioning to three children not too tricky; Arthur and Florence had adapted well and life was calm. More recently Florence has been more tricky, literally from the start of the day to the end of the day everything feels like a negotiation. You know when you feel like you are stepping on eggs shells ALL the time, well that’s what it feels like at the moment. I think her change in behaviour is due to Archibald’s arrival, I think she has finally realised he is here to stay and it’s not ‘new’ anymore. It must be hard for her as before she was the youngest and had all my attention, now things are different. I am trying to remember this on the real tough days, trying desperately to show empathy and understanding when she is shouting in my face or not listening. It is bloody hard. My Instagram is full of gentle parenting advice, some of this advice is really helpful and I am all for learning about how to work through these tough times using the right language and behaviour. But when you are deep in the trenches of tantrums/meltdowns, it is so bloody hard to keep my calm and apply this. I really do think there is a fine line between being a ‘gentle parent’ and also setting boundaries and acknowledging poor behaviour. All we can do is our best right and what feels good for us as a mother.
Here in the UK, it is the summer holidays and to make it even harder the weather is pretty. rubbish. Entertaining little ones in the bad weather is hard, sunshine please come back soon. We are not going away this summer as Archibald is still very small, instead, we have booked a holiday abroad for the October half term (cannot come soon enough!). Something we have done as a family is write activities down that we want to do over the summer holidays and add them into a jar. These activities are not all expensive days out, we have things like park tours, paddling pool, baking, arts and crafts and play dates. Arthur and Florence have enjoyed picking something out of the jar at the start of the week, we have then scheduled it into our week. Perhaps this is something you may want to do with your little ones too.
Being organised is so important when juggling three children
I have been asked a few times as to what the jump is like going from two to three, I actually found going from one to two harder. When you have two children you are already used to juggling and doing things one-handed. The only difference is being organised is even more crucial, little things like prepping dinner in the morning for after school as you can guarantee dinner time is the witching hour. I have not got time to be chopping veggies when Archie is crying and wants a cuddle. Prepping spag Bol, curries, and risotto ahead of time has made dinner times easier. And some days a jacket potato and fish fingers will do. As mothers, we think we have to be feeding our children a vast array of exotic foods and god forbid we give our children a fish finger. Fish fingers are great and are packed with nutritional value. Give yourself a break and know every meal doesn’t have to be complex. I am all about making life as easy as possible when things are busy enough.
When I say I mopped the bathroom floor. What I really mean is my children took a bath, got water everywhere and I wiped it up with a towel.
My husband works 24-hour shifts which means I have had to manage bath time with three children on my own (hats off to the single parents out there). Oh my goodness it’s a military operation. Here are my top tips for bath time with three children
Get everything out ready, pyjamas towels, hairbrushes the lot.
Start early, it always takes longer than you think.
Wash your littlest one first, I have been washing Archie first and getting him warm and dry before I start my older two. They can wait if we get interrupted whereas Archie can’t.
Get your older ones involved, I have been asking Florence to grab me a nappy and Arthur to choose what baby grows he is going to wear for bedtime.
Clean their teeth in the bath, one less job to do before bedtime.
Transition straight from the bath to a story and milk. I try and read to my older two separately so they have one-to-one time but it’s not always possible when Brett is working. Sometimes it's a story where we all join in and if Archie is not settled we cut it short.
Whether you are a first-time mum navigating life as a new mother or if you are a mother of multiple children, we all have our own struggles. Everyone’s support system looks different and you may even be juggling other commitments like work too. Some days it’s bloody hard. Just remember on these days to be kind to yourself and know you're doing the best you can do right now with the resources you have.
Love
Mari-Carmen x